Lottie meets the Mad Axe Man
Lottie was in for a real treat following a Tuesday trip to 2CV City. She was to have new chrome headlight shells, tubular bumpers, a tow bar and window clips! A set of bright yellow and black seat covers completed the “buy the entire shop” day out.
Luckily the humans still had funds to join the Derbyshire Firkin Flyers run to Birchover and the obligatory rest at the Red Lion Inn. Sadly Lottie was unable to have a sleep over with her friends but when Sunday dawned bright the manly human decided to fit the window clips and then the tow bar. The womanly human made tea and also helped locate the tow bar on the chassis using 4 G clamps. Note to Tony – it fitted fine – no extra hanger brackets were required. Manly had no idea what replacement chassis had been used when I had my facelift and corrective surgery so it was a bit of a gamble when making the purchase.
How far out should the tow ball be? Pulling the bar towards the rear gave a longer overhang and better lock with a trailer but weight could tend to lift the front end of the car so we settled on the centre of the ball being just over 4 inches from the bumper.
The clamps were tightened, Manly sharpened his drills, checked I was secure on the ramps and lay on his back to drill and thrill me. Start with a small 7mm drill then work up to 10mm – fine in theory but my chassis proved tougher than the drill bits. Manly was feeling the pain and had not managed one hole when the madness crept up on him so he hiked off and spent a whopping £7.08p on one new Titanium bit from B&Q. The normal expectation is to buy about 50 bits for a tenner so this was a big step.
Back on his back he fought on, till one hole was drilled and one bolt was in place. The second hole was tougher and Manly was weakening. The red mist came down and I quaked as he dragged from the depths of the garage his Gas Axe. Manly knew just how easy it was to make holes in Citroen metal because he often did it without even trying.
I proved to him just what a tough old bird I am but eventually the Mad Axe Man made two more holes then used his expensive drill to size them up. 3 bolts in place and one to go.
How mad was manly? Reason prevailed and he put the axe away because the final hole on the offside front was below the fuel filler pipe. Madness must have brought with it a drop of adrenaline (or Manly had found my soft spot) as the final hole drilled out easily and the last bolt dropped in. All four were tightened up and Manly made a mental note to check them once the tow bar had been used and to make good the heat damaged Waxoyle. A final 10mm hole was made in the boot floor for the cable grommet.
Electric socket mounting plate sandwiched between the bar and the ball, insert 2 big bolts, thread cable through floor and Bob’s your Uncle. Almost – the cable was secured to the tow bar and where it might rub, a section of green garden hose was used as a sleeve. Manly has promised to find some black rubber sheathing but I bet the hose will still be there in 12 months time as it is hidden from public view! But do remind him as I like to be colour co-ordinated.
Manly must now find time to connect the electrics – a ten minute job just like fitting the tow bar. It really took about 4 hours.
Last updated: 03 May 2008